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“I have a woman’s body and a child’s emotion.”

` Elizabeth Taylor

It was a week of highs and lows, ups and downs, twists and turns, offs and ons, forwards and backwards, shouting and silence, happiness and sadness, pushing and pulling, temper tantrums, jubilation and it’s still not the end of the week!

In short, it was a week of so many emotions, it was as though something came along and just kicked me out of sorts…more accurately, kicked me out of myself.  It took a while to figure out what was happening and then I realized my upstairs roommates, those voices in my head, were having all sorts of parties and fun at my expense.  Or so they thought…

As a mentor, executive coach, human performance developer, whatever label you want to throw on there, one would think, “You should know better!”  And you’d be right.  The thing is, we’re all human – even coaches, healers, and holistic practitioners.  We all have our faults, our internal struggles, emotional upheavals and just when you think you’ve got it under control, those upstairs roommates will show you just how much more work needs to be done before you find the proper tenants to lease space.

Most often, it’s easier to simply put up with all the noise upstairs and hope they’ll turn down the volume sooner rather than later.  The thing is, the more you let them go and do what they want, the harder it is to face them, and yourself.  Sooner or later, those dang raucous roommates are going to spread the noise where you really don’t want it to go…spilling out and spewing poison to those that matter most to you.

And that’s EXACTLY what happened to me this this week and WHY I’m writing about it.  You see, nothing “bad” happened…well mostly nothing “bad” happened (that’s another post for a different day), except that my attention was not where I wanted it to be.  An internal struggle was taking place that, at one point, almost consumed an entire day or three.  I fought with all I had to stay in the place I knew best – the place of love, compassion and understanding.  But, you guessed it, the upstairs tenants had different ideas.  I read and re-read books, passages, reminders, notes and quotes all in an effort to help me reign myself in.  Nothing worked, until…

I began scanning through a meditation book, 365 Yoga daily meditations, when my eyes were drawn (or should I say jerked) to a particular meditation almost immediately.  It was mediation #177.  There it was…the words that would have a profound impact such that the upstairs roommates left immediately.  What were the words that made the difference?  Keep reading.

“Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you.

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls.

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even

in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek

not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries

with yesterday.”

~ Khalil Gibran

And so I let go.

I remembered to breathe.

I took a wonderfully deep cleansing breath and let all the annoyances, thoughts, judgments, assumptions, and negativity leave with the exhale.

And then I took a nap.

Until next time…

Yours in Service and Growth,

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Playfully you hid from me.
All day I looked.

Then I discovered
I was you,

and the celebration
of That began.

~ Lalla

English version by
Coleman Barks

The events of a few weeks ago, particularly one special occurrence on a Thursday, could’ve ended so differently had I not had the presence of mind to consciously choose to be in the moment ~ the Now.

In order to understand Thursday’s event, it’s important to understand the Beginning, and how making some pre-mediated choices made all the difference.

The Beginning took place on Saturday, September 6, 2008 ~ the wedding of our son, Brian, and his then fiancé, Marissa.  All the events that were leading to their very special day was exciting, happy, fun, fulfilling and overwhelming.  I can only imagine how they were feeling…

As mother-of-the-groom, my “duties” were somewhat subdued, particularly when you consider what the mother-of-the-bride experiences.  Those MOG duties are, however, no less important.  I was looking forward to all the festivities – beaming, glowing, oozing with love for our son and his soon-to-be-bride!  I was soaking it all in – soaking up each and every conversation, savoring each feeling, and watching everyone around me taking it all in.

It was an experience beyond words – and that was what lead up to the “Wedding Day!”

For those of you that know (and now those who don’t), I am susceptible to migraine headaches at the most inconvenient times.  Can you imagine my despair when I woke up with a migraine on the “Wedding Day”?!?  After fighting it for most of the morning, I decided to stop fighting the headache (experience has taught me that never works anyway) and just experience what was happening, be in the moment with the pain (this too shall pass).  Because I also knew the more I resisted, the harder and longer that migraine was going to dig in its heels.  (Experience is a wonderful teacher.)

We were to be at the location of the ceremony and reception by 12:30 p.m. and around 11:30 a.m., I finally relinquished and let my dear husband know what was happening.  With his compassion and willingness to drive to the pharmacy to pick up some meds, said medication was delivered and with a swallow, relief would soon follow.

I was determined to be focused on our son, the occasion and the people around me.  On the drive to the ceremony my husband and I talked about the ceremony, the excitement, the joy in the day; and soon enough we had arrived at Brian’s room.

I was able to focus on the helping our son prepare for his day – pinning flowers on the groomsmen, adjusting a tie here, tucking a shirt in there, enjoying the scent in the air, the excitement all around – feeling Brian’s excitement, nervousness, and the possibilities of all to come – are remembered because I chose to focus on the moment.

The ceremony was so emotional – in a very good way!  I still see my granddaughter walking down the aisle scattering the flower petals as she walked as only a 10-year-old can scatter flower petals!  The words that were spoken, the vows that were exchanged – now husband and wife!  I was still there – focused – in the moment.  It was magical!

Now on to the reception!  Introductions, speeches, invocations, dinner, dancing, conversations, laughter, joy, dancing…still focused…still in the moment….the cake, the wedding dance…Brian breaking through the “crowd” to be with his new wife…still in the now…

The reception is over – much too quickly.

Then it hits me – I realize at that moment while walking to our room, that I still had the migraine.  Yes, the meds worked to take the “edge” off the pain, but more importantly, I made the conscious decision to focus on the moment and that was all that mattered.

Imagine what I would’ve missed had I made the “othBrian and Marissaer” choice!

This is the “End” of one story…

…Beginning of another story

Let’s go back now to that particular Thursday a few weeks ago, to where a new beginning unfolds…

Two lives that were joined together almost a year ago, are soaking in all the experiences and emotions on their way to a new story – becoming parents!

Brian and Marissa are loving, kind individuals who took the time to make their very special announcement in a most unique way.  And I had the sense enough to be in the moment so I could experience all that moment had to offer.

Did you hear the screams of joy?!?

Feeling each moment and embracing the emotion, it was almost as if time went into slow motion on that Thursday.  Oh, what would’ve been missed if my focus was elsewhere…

Is that another ending?  I don’t believe it is.  There’s never really an End – just a new, different Beginning.

Each moment is an opportunity to choose to be in the present, the Now, to create a new beginning.

All my love to Brian and Marissa and Baby!

Welcome to Roots of Thought, Joshua Tree Coaching & Consulting, LLC’s new blog, and Thought Buds, a brief inspirational message to keep you going between newsletters and blogs.

Hope you will make this an interactive event. We welcome your comments and thoughts.

Yours in Service,
Catherine McAnally, CSAC, SACA, CHDM
Joshua Tree Coaching & Consulting, LLC

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