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“Love is a binding force, by which another is joined to me and cherished as myself.” ~ Thomas Aquinas

Originally posted February 2011

Happy Valentine’s Day to YOU!Valentine Kitten

While most people think this day is strictly for those in a romantic relationship (and yes, that was and is the intent), it doesn’t have to be that way.  When we take a moment to ponder on the meaning of this day, it’s really about all our relationships and what makes those relationships good, great or not so good or great.

Have you ever equated the size of the gift or the number of flowers or the grand dinner and lavish desserts you give or receive with the amount of love given and received…or expected?  If you have, you’re not alone…I’ve fallen into this trap, too.  And it can leave one feeling deflated, disappointed or, dare I say it…not loved enough.

Today, spend a few moments away from the flowers and the chocolate and the surf n’ turf dinners and think about all those in your life where you want to be an active participant in that relationship – spouses, partners, parents, siblings, grandparents, children, grandchildren, friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, co-workers, acquaintances… and make those relationships better.

Here are 3 things that will help strengthen all your relationships:

  1. Communicate – Listen openly, without judgment or defensiveness.  Ask clarifying questions so you better understand the other person.  Be willing to lovingly share your thoughts and feelings, too.
  2. Respect – Honor those in your life for who they are, not what you want or wish them to be.
  3. Trust – Courageously be open, loyal and committed.  Do what you say you’re going to do and do so consistently.

Off to work on my own relationships….

May your Valentine’s Day be filled with love, light, joy and happiness!

Until next time…

P.S. — Want a better understanding of how a coach can help you improve your personal and / or business relationships?  Schedule your private, confidential complimentary coaching session or send an e-mail to info@JoshuaTreeCoaching.com to learn how.  Invest 30 minutes today to change your life forever.

ChristmasCandles

This unique gift, kindness, may be hidden from your own sight like a golden treasure buried under shifting sands.  Often, we spend so much time dazzled by the talents of others that we can easily overlook our own gifts.  Or we are so caught up in the overwhelm and frustration of our own circumstances of life that we get a bad case of tunnel vision.  Our unique gifts are like golden rays of expression that can encircle the world with light, and kindness is one of the gifts that we are born with.  It is important for all of us to try to (re)discover how we can best express kindness to another person.

Here are a 5 things you can practice immediately:

  • Smile with your eyes.
  • Acknowledge and appreciate the gifts you see in those around you.
  • Tell your neighbor that loves to garden how much her green thumb enlivens the whole block.
  • Thank your coworker for always greeting your days together with a smile.
  • Tell your close friends that their ability to listen makes your world a better place.

What are some other ways you can think of to be kind?  Good!  Now go practice.

Until next time…

P.S. — Want to know more on how you can practice kindness in all situations?  Schedule your complimentary coaching session or send an e-mail to info@JoshuaTreeCoaching.com to learn how.  Invest 30 minutes today to change your life forever.

The first full week in February is designated as International Coaching Week (ICW) and it’s a week-long global celebration designed for coaches and clients to educate others about the value of working with a professional coach (business, career, life, personal, development…and the list goes on) and to acknowledge the progress and results achieved through the coaching process.

I will be commemorating the event by participating in some pro bono activities throughout the week, of which you are the beneficiary!

Check back with the Roots of Thought blog often over the course of the week to take advantage of the great opportunities that will be presented.

To kick off the week, here are a few often asked questions about coaching:

  • What are the benefits of coaching?

Individuals who engage in a coaching partnership can expect to experience fresh perspectives on personal challenges and opportunities, enhanced thinking and decision making skills, enhanced interpersonal effectiveness, and increased confidence in carrying out their chosen work and life roles.

Consistent with a commitment to enhancing their personal effectiveness, they can also expect to see appreciable results in the areas of productivity, personal satisfaction with life and work, and the achievement of personally relevant goals.

  • What is the a coach’s responsibility in the coach-client relationship?

A coach should:

  • Discover, clarify, and align with what the client wants to achieve;
  • Encourage client self-discovery;
  • Elicit client-generated solutions and strategies; and
  • Hold the client responsible and accountable.

Professional coaches provide an ongoing partnership designed to help clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives.  Ultimately, coaches help people improve their performances and enhance the quality of their lives.

Coaches are trained to listen, to observe and to customize their approach to individual client needs.  They seek to solicit solutions and strategies from the client; believing the client is naturally creative and resourceful.  The coach’s job is to provide support to enhance the skills, resources, and creativity that the client already has.

Coaching honors the client as the expert in his/her life and work and believes that every client is creative, resourceful, and whole.

Until next time…

P.S. — Want some assistance going from reflection to resolution?  Schedule your private, confidential complimentary discovery session or send an e-mail to info@JoshuaTreeCoaching.com to learn how.  Invest 30 minutes today to change your life forever.

As the year speeds to its end, we begin to mentally prepare for next year.  But don’t forget to take time to assess your personal and professional challenges and accomplishments THIS year.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What have I accomplished this year?  Be specific. Write it all down. Schedule some time to celebrate this!
  2. What have I learned this year?  What skills did you pick up? What emotional lessons?
  3. What got in my way?  This is where your work will be next year.  Be honest if it was your own self that got in the way.
  4. What are my immediate next steps to achieve these goals?
  5. What did I learn from those things that didn’t go as I expected this year?  When you take the time to absorb the lessons that the events in our lives come to teach us, you will not repeat the same mistakes repeatedly.
  6. What am I grateful for this year?  Make a list of at least 100 things that you are grateful for and watch more good things start coming into your life.
  7. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied am I with how I spent the year?  Why?
  8. What do I want to accomplish next year, such that it’s my best year ever?
  9. What does it take to make me feel a 10/10 satisfaction level at the end of next year?
  10. What new habits do I want to cultivate that will help me achieve my goals in 2012?

When you take the time to answer these questions thoughtfully, you are taking the time to invest in yourself and your success.  Remember that ‘why’ that motivates you and use it to push you beyond the obstacles that will always pop up in your path.  True success is found only when you are willing to keep getting up after every setback.

“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning, but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” ~ Hal Borland

Until next time…

P.S. — Want some assistance going from reflection to resolution?  Schedule your private, confidential complimentary discovery session or send an e-mail to info@JoshuaTreeCoaching.com to learn how.  Invest 30 minutes today to change your life forever.

Author Unknown

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably coiffed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.

As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window.  “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

“Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room …. just wait.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied.

“Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.  Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind.  I already decided to love it.  It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up.  I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.  Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away, just for this time in my life.”

She went on to explain, “Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you’ve put in.  So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories.  Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank.  I am still depositing.”

And with a smile, she said:

“Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

  1. Free your heart from hatred.
  2. Free your mind from worries.
  3. Live simply.
  4. Give more.
  5. Expect less.”

Until next time…

P.S. — Want a better understanding of how a coach can guide you to discover your untapped gifts and strengths?  Schedule your private, confidential complimentary discovery session or send an e-mail to info@JoshuaTreeCoaching.com to learn how.  Invest 30 minutes today to change your life forever.

“Love is a binding force, by which another is joined to me and cherished as myself.” ~ Thomas Aquinas

Happy Valentine’s Day to YOU!Valentine Kitten

While most people think this day is strictly for those in a romantic relationship (and yes, that was and is the intent), it doesn’t have to be that way.  When we take a moment to ponder on the meaning of this day, it’s really about all our relationships and what makes those relationships good, great or not so good or great.

Have you ever equated the size of the gift or the number of flowers or the grand dinner and lavish desserts you give or receive with the amount of love given and received…or expected?  If you have, you’re not alone…I’ve fallen into this trap, too.  And it can leave one feeling deflated, disappointed or, dare I say it…not loved enough.

Today, spend a few moments away from the flowers and the chocolate and the surf n’ turf dinners and think about all those in your life where you want to be an active participant in that relationship – spouses, partners, parents, siblings, grandparents, children, grandchildren, friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, co-workers, acquaintances… and make those relationships better.

Here are 3 things that will help strengthen all your relationships:

  1. Communicate – Listen openly, without judgment or defensiveness.  Ask clarifying questions so you better understand the other person.  Be willing to lovingly share your thoughts and feelings, too.
  2. Respect – Honor those in your life for who they are, not what you want or wish them to be.
  3. Trust – Courageously be open, loyal and committed.  Do what you say you’re going to do and do so consistently.

Off to work on my own relationships….

May your Valentine’s Day be filled with love, joy and happiness!

Until next time…

P.S. — Want a better understanding of how a coach can help you improve your personal and / or business relationships?  Schedule your private, confidential complimentary coaching session or send an e-mail to info@JoshuaTreeCoaching.com to learn how.  Invest 30 minutes today to change your life forever.

Veterans Day 2010 Banner

"But the freedom that they fought for,

And the country grand they wrought for,

Is their monument to-day, and for aye."

~ Thomas Dunn English

Thank you to my favorite veteran of all, my husband – and to my nephew – and veterans across the country!  Because you chose to serve your country and, therefore, me, the sacrifices you made kept (and continue to keep) me safe, protect the freedoms I enjoy, and allow me to experience life peacefully.  And while there is no way to ever repay you for your service, know that I am forever grateful and you will never be forgotten.

Playfully you hid from me.
All day I looked.

Then I discovered
I was you,

and the celebration
of That began.

~ Lalla

English version by
Coleman Barks

I was on a quest – researching some information for a future presentation and happened upon this poem. (My belief is that all things happen for a reason – there are no coincidences.) So, I allowed myself to be taken down another path, just for a moment, because the words in this poem are so powerful. They especially ring true for a parent of an autistic child, or a parent of any challenged child; however, you can take almost any verse of the poem and apply it in any interaction you have with another human being – whoever that might be.

In your honor, I have received permission from the author, Sally Meyer, to publish her poem on Roots of Thought.

May you find one seed of value in Ms. Meyer’s words…

___________________________________________________________

Just for This Day

“Autism is not the end of the World…

just the beginning of a new one.”

Copyright © 1999 Sally Meyer

Just for this morning, I am going to smile whenever I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you wake up softly, all rumpled in your flannel and I will hold you until you are ready.

Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say you’re beautiful.

Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning, I am going to eat a huge breakfast, with bacon, eggs, toast and waffles and you don’t have to eat any.

Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that 100 piece puzzle together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the garden blowing bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won’t worry about what you are going to be when you grow up or who you might have been before your diagnosis.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won’t stand over you trying to fix things.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you put all kinds of barrettes in my hair, and put lipstick on my face, and I will tell you how pretty you have made me look.

Just for this afternoon, I will take you to McDonalds and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born, and how much we love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the bathtub and not get angry when you throw water over your sister’s head.

Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch swing and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will bring you glasses of water and snuggle beside you for three hours and miss my favorite show on t.v.

Just for this evening, when I kneel down to pray, I will simply be grateful for all that I have and not ask for anything, except

Just one more day.

___________________________________________________________

May YOU have “Just one more day.”!

Until next time…

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