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“When your fear touches someones’ pain,
it becomes pity; when your love touches
someones’ pain, it becomes compassion. 
To train in compassion, then, is to know all
beings are the same and suffer in
similar ways, to honor all those who
suffer, and to know you are neither separate
from nor superior to anyone.” 

~ Stephen Levine

Here’s a quick review of what we talked about in Part 2 of “What Were YOu Thinking?”  You learned about Jumping to Conclusions, Emotional Reasoning, Shoulds, Labeling, and Blame.

In Part 3, here are the final 5 Cognitive Distortions (again, in no particular order)…or “What Were You Thinking?!”

5 Cognitive Distortions (Part 3)

  1. Control Fallaciesseeing ourselves as a victim (external control fallacy) or assuming the responsibility for the pain and happiness of everyone around us (internal control fallacy).
  2. Discounting the Positivediscounting your achievements or insisting your positive actions, achievements or qualities don’t count; saying anyone could’ve done it..
  3. Fairness Fallacygoing through life applying a measuring rod against every situation judging its fairness; feeling resentful because we thing we know what is fair but others won’t agree with us.
  4. Always Being Right feeling continually on trial to prove that your opinions and actions are correct (or pointing out how wrong someone’s opinions and actions are).  Being wrong is unthinkable going to any length to demonstrate your “rightness”.
  5. Heaven’s Reward Fallacyexpecting your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, then feeling bitter when the reward doesn’t come.

What have you discovered?  What distortions do you recognize in yourself?  Where do you want to begin making changes?

You’ll have an opportunity in the next post to find out more about what you can do about your “stinkin’ thinkin” and improve your rate of success – however YOU define success.

To be continued…

Until next time…

P.S. — Want to learn more about Cognitive Distortions and how they may be impeding your progress and success?  Tired of being at the mercy of your distortions?  Schedule your private, confidential complimentary discovery session or send an e-mail to to learn how.  Invest 30 minutes today to change your life forever.

This unique gift, kindness, may be hidden from your own sight like a golden treasure buried under shifting sands.  Often, we spend so much time dazzled by the talents of others that we can easily overlook our own gifts.  Or we are so caught up in the overwhelm and frustration of our own circumstances of life that we get a bad case of tunnel vision.  Our unique gifts are like golden rays of expression that can encircle the world with light, and kindness is one of the gifts that we are born with.  It is important for all of us to try to (re)discover how we can best express kindness to another person.

Here are a 5 things you can practice immediately:

  • Smile with your eyes.
  • Acknowledge and appreciate the gifts you see in those around you.
  • Tell your neighbor that loves to garden how much her green thumb enlivens the whole block.
  • Thank your coworker for always greeting your days together with a smile.
  • Tell your close friends that their ability to listen makes your world a better place.

What are some other ways you can think of to be kind?  Good!  Now go practice.

Until next time…

P.S. — Want to know more on how you can practice kindness in all situations?  Schedule your complimentary coaching session or send an e-mail to to learn how.  Invest 30 minutes today to change your life forever.

“To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.”   Johannes A. Gaertner

What are YOU grateful for?  Who ever that may be, have you taken the time to tell that person “thank you”?  What about the reason(s) you are thankful for them?  No?!  Not yet?! What are you waiting for???

Are you grateful for the things you have or the events you’ve experienced?  It’s not always about the “good” things that have happened – it’s also about growing through the challenges.  Have YOU taken a moment to consider that your struggles of this past year may have made you stronger, more peaceful, more creative, more accepting, more adaptable, more resilient, etc.?  Perhaps without the challenges YOU would not have worked to being more open and accepting.  Hmmm – you mean struggles can be good? :-D

Take a moment, not just on Thanksgiving Day, each day and remember to show your gratitude to each other and to yourself.

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” ~ Thornton Wilder

Thank YOU for accompanying me on this journey and the opportunity to serve you!

You have enriched my life!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Until next time…

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